Have you ever has doubts about your career choice or path before you really even started?

Have you ever questioned your ability to even do the thing?

If you are a creative pursuing an arts career, if you are a creative not pursuing an arts career, or if you don’t identify with any of that, I think this entry can benefit you.

When I Officially Started My Art Career

About 10 months ago, I officially filed for my LLC here in California. This is just after moving across the country, with no personal connections here in this place besides my boyfriend. It was hard to kick off a business with not knowing a single outsider around you, let alone what’s around you.

Hey, I did it. I actually had a really successful first month of business, which led into a busy season of window paintings, my first murals, and even some original art sales.

But don’t get fooled, before the jobs rolled in at all, I was doubting even trying this business out. I didn’t want to invest so much time and energy if I wasn't guaranteed it would work out. I laid awake at night with stresses I wouldn't make anything and was counting the months of expenses down to the dollar I had in savings to see how long it could stretch.

That initial fear period ~the freaky commencement period~ was full of anxieties that were a mixture of “I can’t wait to post my first mural & what the f*ck did I just sign up for!”

Fast forward to now, 10 months later, I have had lots of ups and downs in the steadiness of business. It is certainly still not steady because the next week is not promised. It still is f*cking with me.

Dude- but I literally just started so I think I need to give myself a grace period.

When Does the Fear Start to Wane?

Oh god, I wish I knew. Someone let me know please lol.

For me, I still have waves of these volatile emotions every day. Its hard to not let it get to me, when there is no security, but I would like to remind everyone that there is no security in literally anything. Your job is most likely not promised, and tomorrow there is no guarantee we will get through the day. Not to scare you, but this reality is what has helped me the most.

I want to live my life like tomorrow is never promised, because this realization will help you live your truth. Buddist monks are known to mediate at open graves to contemplate impermanence. I guess you can say Art From Rosalie LLC is my mediation, lol.

But honestly, let’s all meditate. I try to actually sit down and breathe every day. Its a dang slow process but sure does help your mind.

How I Cultivate Trust

If I know anything in my life, its that the passion I have for art is unlike anything else. It is so deep within me that I know I will never be able to escape my calling, even if I was forced into a 9-5.

To grasp onto your trust, I feel that it is crucial to know what you love. To know what your mission here on Earth is, and to never ever let anyone tell you that’s not good enough or it is not going to work out.

I was told by most of the faces in my life to get a teaching career instead, or to get a part time job and do my business on the side, I am happy to admit that I ignored every one of those suggestions.

If I got this far already, after being in a new state fresh out of college at now 23 years old, and figured it out, I know I can withstand whatever comes. It is all a mind game I’m learning. Sure, I can’t manifest my monthly income out of thin air and hopeful thinking, but I can form a mindset that will help me endure whatever is to come.

If you start to trust yourself, you accept whatever has to be done has to be. Whatever point I get to, I will have an inner knowing that it never will be over. I know that what folds out is simply meant to.

Right now, I get to structure my days how I want, affect lives directly from my business, and figure it all out like a 1000 piece puzzle. This happens day by day though. So don’t get too hard on yourself if you aren’t in your dream spot right in the beginning.

Thank you for reading, friend. We are all in this together trying to figure it out.